I come by my weirdness honestly. In fact, I’m pretty damn certain it’s genetic.  I have no idea how we managed to go from a less-than-hot tub to cooking with Peeps.  I have PLANS for the vam-pyre, though.  PLANS, I tell you!  Except they’ll have to wait until I finish what I’m already working on.


Bro: Actually, never mind the hot tub for now, while I was in here [sister-in-law] used up all the hotness and now I have to close the cover and wait for it to heat up again :-)
Me: Hahaha, moved too slow, [sister-in-law] stole the hot. :D
Bro: It’s just really cold and windy tonight, it sucks the heat out of the water.
Me: The weather is a heatpire.
Bro: but not a heatpYre, which would be pro-hottification.
Me: Exactly!
Bro: (Now I’m imagining a vam-pyre that goes around feeding on stuff that’s on fire…)
Bro: Also, to0, I’m eating bunnies for good luck.
Me: That…PLOT BUNNY DAMMIT! Quit doing that to me!
Me: Not the peep bunnies, your vam-pyre concept.
Bro: Hurry up so we can let them breed!
Bro: (Also not the peep bunnies…)
Me: Peep bunnies breeding would be kind of…disturbing.
Bro: And peep-bunny breading would be melty.
Me: What would you use for breading on peep bunnies? Shortbread?
Me: (Mmmm, shortbread peep bunnies.)
Bro: I meant using the peep-bunnies AS breading. Chop them up finely, roll a piece of fish or chicken in it, fry…
Me: Oh, on scallops, since scallops already have a sweetness to them.


NOTE: “You Had To Be There Theater” is what I started calling the bizarre conversations my brother and I have years ago, when I first started posting them elsewhere. You probably won’t see them here often unless they tie in with a theme I’m working on or writing in general.